Sunday, April 12, 2015

Why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out. ~Dr. Suess

So, without going into the whole story, (which I am still debating with myself about doing) I recently came under an unprovoked verbal attack by messenger and text. In the midst of this, a supposed "adult" called me names.  Nerd.  Frog (not even sure what that was supposed to mean).  He told me, among other things, he would be embarrassed to be me.  I wanted to tell him he was the one that should be embarrassed and so many other things, but I said nothing, because I knew to reply would only have egged him on and I had no wish for the situation to escalate.  I mean, you can't reason with crazy and I now truly believe this person has some sort of psychological issues.  I don't really know this person but he seems to think he knows me.  Kind of scary really.

At first I was upset and angry and then, I started to laugh.  Nerd?  You call that an insult? Are you kidding?  I wear that like a badge of honor.  I've never really pretended to be anything I'm not.  I'm pretty much what you would call a WYSIWYG.  What You See Is What You Get.  The person people see on the outside is pretty much the same person I am in private.  It funny to me that people think being a nerd is an insult.  It amazes me that people still attack those that are different, WHEN WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT.  Let me say that again, we are all different and unique.  No two people are the same.  Some of us are just less concerned with fitting into what is considered the norm than others.

The group I hung out with in high school were the nerds and I would not have had it any other way. They were smart, funny, generous, loving people who accepted everyone for who they were.  Those outcasts, the nerds, the weirdos?  They would never call someone out for being different, instead they would celebrate that person's individuality.  The nerds and the dorks are some of the best people I know.  I'll be honest here, I was not always as confident as I am now, so back in the day, I didn't always like being a part of the nerd crowd.  But now, I'm glad that I was, it helped form me into who I am today.

People are shitty and some bullies never grow up.  But if anyone thinks that I am going to change who I am, they have another think coming.  If everyone out there was the same, what a boring world it would be.  I have also done my best to raise my daughter to be an individual and an independent thinker. (Sometimes, I've done too good a job at this and she uses that independent attitude against me.) To not care what anyone else thinks, to just be herself.  The right person will love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.  I don't tell her anything I don't tell myself on a regular basis.

So I didn't give this person what they wanted, which was to hurt me by calling me names.  I am proud of being a nerd, a weirdo, being different.  I am who I am and I'm not going to change myself for anyone.  Hopefully, someday, I will find the right person who will appreciate me for who I am.  For now, I am content that I am me and I have lots of people in my life that love me anyway.